my Grandpa

It is now 5:35 am on Sunday April 6th, 2008 and I am finally home from the hospital. I spent all day there and had come home about 9pm. At 1:16am, the phone rang. It was my Dad. My father has the most calming, soft delivery of bad news. He said, "they called and we need to go to the hospital." My Grandpa Willis Shumway passed away at about 1am this morning.

I have mixed feelings about this and I'll tell you why.

I am full of loss, sadness, and sorrow. There is an emptiness in me. I have cried so much I don't think I can cry anymore. He walked himself into the doctor office on Thursday evening. They admitted him for pain control, found spots on his lungs, bladder by CT scan, believed the fractures in his spine were due to cancer, too. He hurt so much. I wanted healing...................

.....................I guess I got it...............HE IS AT HOME WITH OUR LORD!!!! What could be better? He passed away quickly and we believe and were told that he didn't suffer, as he died.

I feel blessed to have spent the day there with him. At one point earlier in the day, I got to hold him as he held on to me, to transfer him from his bedside to the chair. He moved so slowly, I had all the time (it felt like) in the world to talk to him. I told him to hold on to me, that I wouldn't let him fall, that we could move as slowly as he needed us to. He had his face buried in the left side of my neck. I love how he smells. I love feeling his breath on my neck and him holding onto me. I love looking into his big blue eyes.

The last thing I said to him this evening before I left was, "I love you, Grandpa. You get some rest and I will see you in the morning." Okay, so I won't see him in the morning BUT I WILL SEE HIM SOMEDAY!

Please, pray for me and my family in the coming days, weeks and months.