House update from 12.27.08 to 1.3.09

my arm & house

So, about a month ago, I fell off of my back porch. One foot slid and the other one didn't, sending me forward onto my out stretched hands. It happened really, really slowly....almost slow motion like. After my son and husband got done laughing at my 'almost fall,' we laughed about how my shoulders would probably be sore in the morning but that it could have been alot worse.

The next morning, my collar bones felt like they were broken. Even breathing hurt them. Slowly, over days, the pain changed to across by shoulder, shoulder blade and the back of my neck.

A few weeks ago, I got into my doctor and told him about my problem. He got some X-rays but they came back clear. So, a week later when I was back in there (and it wasn't any better) he gave me a shot of cortisone in my shoulder. OH, the bliss, OH, the joy! It was wonderful! BUT it was full of Lidocaine, also. The bliss lasted about 6 days. Some people get relief from steroids lasting up to months.....but not me.

I go for an MRI of my right shoulder on December 31st. My doctor thinks I have torn my rotator cuff to some degree and an MRI is how you see how much and of what. He said he thinks he will be sending me to an orthopedic surgeon when the results come back...if he is right. I have checked online places that should know what they are talking about like webmd. Everything they describe is what I have wrong with me.

My prayer is that if this is the problem, that this will fix it. If it isn't the problem, that we will find it soon. My arm really hurts.

On a lighter note: we have begun the first steps of construction on the house. I live in a 14 X 70 house trailor with three small bedrooms and one bathroom. Not nearly enough room for 4 people. We outgrew it when I got pregnant with Abbie ( and she is 5 ). The plan is to double the space and then some. The new part will be 16 feet wide and the length of the existing trailor long...so like 66-67 feet. It will have a master bedroom, another 'kid' bedroom, and another full bathroom. Then, I plan to knock out the wall between my kitchen and Abbie's current bedroom and expand the kitchen. In the end, when its all over with, we will have 4 bedrooms, two full bathrooms, and a huge kitchen/dining room/living room......OH, the space!!!!!

Currently, there are holes full of concrete for the foundation in the front yard and a pile of block waiting to be used. Tomorrow, is back of the house. I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!

Corinthians

1 Corinthians 13 - Christmas Version! If I decorate my house perfectly with red bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny stars, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator. If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of mince pies and preparing gourmet meals but do not show love to my in-laws, I'm just another cook. If I work at a soup kitchen and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing. If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and sparkling snowflakes, and sing in the choir but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point. Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband or wife. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens. Love doesn't yell at the children to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in being able to give to those who can't. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Computer games will break, cashmere jumpers will wear out, puzzle pieces will get lost. But giving the gift of love will last for ever. Merry Christmas!

update on me and mine

So, I have been hearing from some of you how disappointed you are that I have not blogged lately. So, sorry....I have been busier than usual. YAY!

I DID get my job....and it is wonderful! God planned this for me and made it for me. The hours are perfect, days are perfect and the women I work with are a delight.

I have, this last week, had the plague. I hate being sick. Not just the snotty, coughing, headaches, fever and sore throat. I hate feeling like I can't get anything done in spite of those things.

It is getting better but I still feel bad, sometimes.

Christmas is coming......hee heeh hehheeeehhehhee I love this time of year! The cold weather, big sweatshirts, carols, snow flakes, boots, hot cocoa.....everything.

It is official: I am a Daisy Girl Scout Co-Leader with Kim, Teonda & Christy. Troop # 500. WHHOOO WHOO the four of us and 17, that's SEVENTEEN 5-6 year olds! We are cool and having loads of fun!

We just recently watched the newest Batman movie: The Dark Knight. Oh, I loved it but I am a fan of Christian Bale and of Batman in general. At the end, which I won't give away for any of you still waiting to see it, there is a line by a character about Batman, which was: "We will hunt him because he can take it." It perfectly fits the movie mood and plot BUT...........

The more I thought about it, it fits lots of things in our lives. - We can let the responsible people in our lives handle/take care of everything because they can take it. - We will let mommys clean up our messie rooms because she can take it. - We will let the minister handle that person because he is paid to do it and he knows how to handle it....he can take it. - Jesus was nailed to a cross because He really could take it. - God allows things (not makes bad things happen) to happen to us because He knows we can take it ~ with Him by our sides.

I ramble.....that's just me, call me the Rambler. Sometimes my family calls me Brook........as in 'babbles like a brook.' Loads of love there......

Who am I

http://www.mychurch.org/blog/30635/coolest-video-ever

Be sure to turn up the sound. This is SO SO COOL!....

Ah, the power of a black light to add to the experience!

Obama!?

I have gotten SO many email lately about Obama being the Anti-Christ and that the Bible talks about him in Revelation.

I am not picking sides...neither am I for or against Obama or McCain.

I hope that this clears things up. Whether Obama becomes President or not, the world will not come to an end.

ORIGINAL EMAIL CONTENT:

The Bible has warned us that 'A man will come from the East that will be charismatic in nature and have proposed solutions for all our problems and his rhetoric will attract many supporters!'

When will our pathetic Nation quit turning their back on God and understand that this man is 'A Muslim'....First, Last and always....and we are AT WAR with the Muslim Nation, whether our bleeding-heart, secular, Liberal friends believe it or not. This man fits every description from the Bible of the 'Anti-Christ'! I'm just glad to know that there are others that are frightened by this man!

Who is Barack Obama?

Very interesting and something that should be considered in your choice.If you do not ever forward anything else, please forward this to all your contacts...this is very scary to think of what lies ahead of us here in our own United States...better heed this and pray about it and share it.'www. snopes. com ..' confirms this is factual. Check for yourself.

Who is Barack Obama?

Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHEIST from Wichita , Kansas. Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii.

When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL Muslim from Indonesia.When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia. Obama attended a MUSLIM school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school.

Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that, 'He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school.' Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that that he is not a radical.

Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education.

Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world.

Since it is politically expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking major public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background.

ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Koran. Barack Hussein Obama will NOT recite the Pledge of Allegiance nor will he show any reverence for our flag. While others place their hands over their hearts, Obama turns his back to the flag and slouches.

Do you want someone like this as your PRESIDENT? Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy.The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside out, what better way to start than at the highest level - through the President of the United States, one of their own!

********************************************************

THIS, HOWEVER, IS HIS REAL STORY! Be sure to read the whole thing, lest you not be convinced that all of the above issues were covered.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/antichrist.asp

***Snopes is copy-righted so I couldn't simply copy and paste it here.***

Again, I am NOT for or against either candidate but if you check www.snopes.com, it will tell you that this email is a lie! Check it for yourself. I'm not saying that I am necessarily voting for him but this is just crap. He is black, big whoop! He has a questionable heritage, don't we all!?! Don't judge him by things that are not his fault.

Check out what is really the truth. Just because it says that they fact-checked with snopes.com doesn't mean that they actually did.

Snopes has NOTHING to gain, some email sources would/could have something to gain!

God is SO good to me

Okay, so my plan has been all along to go back to work after Abbie started kindergarten. As the years went by, I kept thinking, yeah, going back to work some might be okay. Eventually, I figured out that part-time, day shift, maybe in an office somewhere would be what I needed and wanted.

*Abbie gets on a bus at 8am and off a little before 4pm. There is not a nursing home or hospital in the world that runs banker's hours. Day shift is 7am - 3pm, evening shift is 3pm - 11pm and midnight shift is 11pm - 7am. There is no way to do that.

* I could work evening shift BUT I tried that when Nick was little. I got home from work at midnight, picked him up from my parent's house (asleep), went home, got up the next morning and saw him for an hour maybe before putting him on a bus. I was back at work before he got home from school; getting off the bus at my parent's again.

* I have worked midnights before as well. Not good for anyone.....me, my kids or my marriage.

As I said, I had this plan and I was going to hold out for it. Maybe I was being a little bull headed but, God worked it out anyway.

On Thursday, we got a small loan to expand our current home. Not much money and we can afford the monthly payments AND it will only help our credit. We couldn't do it alone, I have to thank my parents for that.....the love, the support and the signatures. They helped us ALOT.

On Friday, I went to the school to see Nick's Renaissance Fair. *Picture above* It was great and he had a wonderful time....not in class. While I was there, I applied to be a substitute cook in the kitchen. My Mom is the head cook and had said they needed subs.....part time/on call. "Sounds good," I thought, "I'll get to play with Mom and make a little money, how fun!" There is going to be some school board meeting on Tuesday and I will know more after that.

On Saturday, My Dad was working, visiting, (I don't really know) with some people we go to church with. Jane asked my Dad, about half hearted, if he knew anyone that needed or wanted a part time job because the doctor she works for needs someone. Dad told her that I was looking for just that kind of work and that we should talk.

On Sunday, my church had it's "100% Sunday." I missed alot of it because I was working with Mom, Joan, Cheryl, and many other women preparing lunch to feed over 350 people. It was so fun, work, but fun! I was supposed to talk to Jane then, but with all the people there, we never even saw each other. BUT, I called her that afternoon.

LONG STORY SHORT: I GO TOMORROW TO TALK WITH THE DOCTOR ABOUT THE POSITION! I think, think I have a job....no, no, make that two part time jobs that will make a little money, give me something to do BUT will not effect the time spent with my family.

God had a plan for me and my part time job years ago. He has truly blessed me recently. He always blesses us, just sometimes it's harder to see than others.

Pro-Life all the way!

Typical pro-choice arguments:

1) "A woman has the right to her own body." First off, it's silly to think that the law cannot tell us what we can't do with our bodies. We can't put certain drugs in them or sell ourselves for sex. Second, this statement totally ignores the fact that the unborn are completely separate individuals from the mother. How can someone have two heartbeats, two different blood types, two sets of DNA? And, if the unborn is a male, how can a woman have a male part of her body? Yes, the unborn need their mother for nutrition and safety, but that does not make them any more a part of her body than some food she swallows is a part of her body. To refute this statement, I'll tell a story about a little boy who had surgery for spina bifida before he was even born. At the end of the surgery, the baby reached out of the uterus and grabbed the doctor's finger. My question is this... who grabbed the doctor's finger? (full story: http://joseromia.tripod.com/samuel.html )

2) "What if she was raped?"1% of all abortions performed annually are due to rape/incest. Although this is an extremely small number, this situation must be approached with great compassion, because the victim has already been through one violent act. Why would we subject her to another, that of killing her own child? Two wrongs do not make a right, and abortion will not alleviate the trauma of the rape. The victim needs love and care, and both she and her unborn child deserve better than abortion.

3) "You can't impose your morality on others." Using that logic, should we release all the rapists and murderers from prison to go free on the streets and allow them to do as they please, because we "cannot impose our morality on them?" Of course not. if you saw someone beating a child bloody on a playground, would you not try to stop it? Even if that's imposing your views on others? We do not need to be given the right to speak up for the voiceless.

4) "You're all just a bunch of self-righteous Jesus freaks." Not all pro-lifers are religious, but one doesn't have to be to have a sense of morality and know that killing a defenseless human being is wrong. Simply because many pro-lifers are motivated by religious beliefs doesn't mean abortion a religious issue. (the civil rights movement was sometimes led by pastors and led in churches, but that doesn't mean civil rights is a religious issue).

5) "It has nothing to do with you. stay out of other people's privacy." If everyone were to follow this idea, then we would not have any security in our nation at all. If everyone just "stayed out of people's privacy," children would be molested, women would be raped in their homes, and people would kill each other and no one could do anything to stop it. We would have no security, no police force, nothing. Should we stay out of someone's privacy' when they film child pornography in their basement? Should we stay out of a man's 'privacy' as he beats his wife in their bedroom? Should we stay out of a woman's 'privacy' as she goes to have her child intentionally torn limb from limb?

6) "If it is illegal, then women will die in illegal abortions." Abortion advocates are flat-out lying when saying thousands of women died each year from illegal abortions and their own research proves it. In 1986, the AGI (Alan Guttmacher Institute, the research arm of planned parenthood) gave proof that shows in the fifteen years before abortion was legal, the average number of women dying from illegal abortion in America was 136 per year and falling. Remember: pro-lifers don’t perform abortions. If we made abortion illegal right now, and illegal abortionists came about in the next few days, each one of them would be pro-choice. Think about it: any woman that ever died or was hurt during an abortion, legal or not, it was because of someone who was pro-choice. Basically, the abortion industry tells us, "if you make abortion illegal, women will end up dying because of it." But what in reality they're saying, "if you make it illegal for us to kill babies, then we'll start killing women."

7) "It's not a human because _______." This is when people start making up their own definitions of what a human is in order to dehumanize the unborn. Science undoubtedly proves that at the moment of conception, a new human being is formed, with 46 human chromosomes and human DNA. At that moment, everything about that new human being is determined: gender, hair color, eye color, metabolism, whether they will be right-handed or left-handed, etc. The definition of "human" and "human being" are interchangeable. Wherever you look, you will see that when either is defined, the other is one of the definitions. In order to be a human being, biologically speaking, one must be a member of the genus homo sapiens, which the unborn are.

8) "It's not a person." According to the law, no. But if the law suddenly decided that those under age one are not considered persons, would you be morally comfortable killing them too?

9) "Well, it's not a LEGAL person so they shouldn't have more rights than the woman." We are not advocating that the unborn have more rights than the mother. We are advocating that their rights are equal. If America was killing off women by the millions so kids could live the way they wanted, the pro-life movement would fight just as much to end that mass slaughter as well. Everyone has the right to live how they want, but they can't kill others in order to do so. When we say someone can't shoot someone in order to get money to buy a house, it's not to say he has doesn't have a right to buy a house or that he has fewer rights his victim; we're saying that someon's right to life is of higher value than someone else’s right to buy a house. This idea also applies to abortion. The abortion industry’s own data shows that at least 93% of abortions are done for non-health issue reasons on a totally healthy baby and a totally healthy woman who just doesn’t want to be pregnant, which shows that the abortion conflict is between the unborn's right to life and a woman's wanting to not to be pregnant, and even though that desire may be rational, she can't be allowed kill for it.

10) "The fetuses are parasites and a woman doesn't have to be a fetal incubator if she doesn't want it." Parasites are something of a different species than the host. Since both the woman and the unborn are members of the genus homo sapiens, they are both human beings, and therefore of the same species. Also, during pregnancy, a woman's body goes through changes to deliberately provide nutrients and protect her baby. This does not happen with a parasite. When a woman decides to engage in sexual activity, she risks pregnancy, even if she uses birth control. An innocent human being should not have to pay with his/her blood because someone's birth control failed. If one is ready for sexual activity, one must be ready to handle the consequences of their actions. The pro-choice thought is that if people are "acting responsibly," they should not have any consequences. But even if people "act responsible" when driving their cars can still have accidents, and are still responsible for any damage they cause. In the case of engaging in sex, "acting responsibly" is more than using birth control to avoid pregnancy. It's also accepting (before having sex) that the woman may become pregnant, and abortion is about allowing people evade this part of responsibility at the expense of a child's life.

11a) "I don't think life begins until ________." Thing is, it doesn't matter when you think life begins. Science proves it begins at conception. No scientific, biological, or medical text reference states that life begins at any other point. Besides, pure logic demands it. Life cannot come from non-life. If, at the moment of conception, the unborn are not, at least, alive, how is it that from that moment they are able to grow and develop?

11b) "No one knows when life begins." This means you are acknowledging the fact that it very well could be at the moment of conception, yet since they are unsure, it should be an acceptable practice to destroy them. This is like sentencing someone to death before it's proven whether they are innocent or guilty. Ridiculous, isn't it?

12) "The fetuses aren't sentient. They don't feel anything. They don't care." Would it be acceptable to kill people in their sleep, then? Or if someone you don't like very much is unconscious, is it ok to kill them? How about someone who is paralyzed? Whether one can feel when they are being killed or not does not mean it's ok to kill them. Besides, if any of the pro-choicers took a little initiative and researched fetal development, they'd realize that nerves are developing by the eighth week, possibly even earlier. If touched, an 8-wk-old unborn human being will respond to the touch; they will move away from the stimuli; they will grasp an object placed in the hand. And during an abortion, they will thrash around in a pathetic attempt to escape the sharp object that is ripping them apart.

13) "It's a legal right. It's about giving women a choice." Just because something is a legal right doesn't make it right. This is merely implying that the issue here isn't abortion. It's "choice", and that is saying that what is being "chosen" really does not matter. This is completely illogical, because we know that not all choices are equal. Choosing what house to buy, or what color car to purchase, is entirely different than choosing whether to produce child porn. Pro-choicers think intentionally killing an innocent unborn human being perfectly fine, simply by choosing to have one.

14) "Abortion isn't about convenience. A woman only gets one if she really needs to." Not only is this statement a lie, but planned parenthood's own research arm, the Allen Guttmacher Institute, proves that 93% of abortions are done because of convenience (ie, the mother is single, the child would interfere with plans, the mother doesn't want (more) kids, etc), 6% are due to deformities with the unborn/health of the mother, and 1% are because of rape. ("underlying reasons for abortion" http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/2411798.html )

15) "If abortion is murder then masturbation is genocide!!" Whoever said this either does not know the definition of genocide or needs to go back to middle school and pick up a bio book. Life begins at conception. Not before, not after. We established this earlier. Abortion is genocide. What you do with your sperm... whatever. 23 chromosomes. Not a human being.

16) "Don't like abortion? Then don't have one!" Typical pro-choice arrogance from those who realize they can't defend their stance on abortion! Of course, abortion can't be defended on its own twisted merits anyway, so the fact that many resort to this pathetic statement is quite understandable.

******************************************************

This was quoted from a Facebook group that I belong to.

Yikes!

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the senator. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises .. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven." So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity." The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above... The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?" The devil looks at him, smiles and says....... "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted."

Levi Paul Kellough

Introducing Levi Paul Kellough, first born son of Zeb & Shannon Kellough

Born: October 10th, 2008

9 pounds 4 oz & 22.5 inches

Second grandson of Linda Lewis-Evans

(her first grandson is Stephanie's son Jackson ~ below)

CONGRATULATIONS! MOMMY, DADDY, AUNTS, UNCLES, COUSINS & GRANDPARENTS!!!!!

Memo

To: YOU

Date: TODAY From: GOD Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now. If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege. Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years. Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return. Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children. Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk. Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine. Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity. Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them! Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know! Now, you have a nice day....God God has seen you struggling, God says it's over.

Christina

This is from my good friend, Christina. She has such an amazing faith and love for and of God, that I had to share it with the world.

I find myself very early this morning humbled by a truth I cannot ignore. My life, although spick and span on the outside, has been covered with webs and excuses on the inside. I have held a grudge, not against any of you, but against God. My need to have what I want, has turned into a spoiled princess temper tantrum.

How dare I turn my nose when God wakes me up every day.

How dare I eat a meal without thanking him for supplying it. And how conceited am I to believe that God owes me a baby. Because I suffered hurt when I miscarried? Is this my reasoning? Did God not hurt as He watched His son tortured for me?

When I see my mother's picture, I have a sigh that uncomfortably follows. A sigh that is supposed to excuse my actions, because I don't have a mother anymore. A sigh that half says to God, you can't expect much from me since you took her. Like I get time to mess up and God will understand without me asking for forgiveness. Why do I feel like I have this right? I don't.

Somewhere along the way I got tired of thinking about what the right thing to do is. How does that happen? I don't get a card that allows me to take a break from life for grievance. And just because my mother is gone doesn't mean I don't need to thank him that everyone else I love is still here, safe and secure every day that I wake up.

So I sit here, after just having a conversation with a friend, realizing that in my heart I thought I was where I needed to be. I go to church. I sing the songs. I bow my head for prayer. I help other people. I love my neighbor. And I just want to scream what is missing God, what am I doing wrong? And then it clicked. I know what it is.

It's what I'M doing. not what I'm letting God do. I was hurt, so I decided to take the reigns. Somewhere I decided I didn't trust God anymore and pushed him out of the driver's seat, not wanting another broken heart.

So here I am God. Giving it all back to you. I'm not saying I expect not to hurt again, I 'm saying if I do, I know you'll hold me while I cry. And I'm sorry for blaming you. For my babies and my momma leaving. You had a reason, and I will see them again. And you don't owe me anything, if you never give me another breath of air again, I still owe you!

Thank you for loving me regardless.

Thank you for all that I have.

And I'm asking you to guide me again in life, and use me to help others. God I never again want to find myself in a position of hindering others from coming to you with my attitude or actions.

God heal the heartstrings from me to you.

And thank you for showing me the answer.

bailout plan

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up....

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00. My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage housing crisis solved. Repay college loans what a great boost to new grads. Put away money for college it'll be there. Save in a bank create money to loan to entrepreneurs. Buy a new car create jobs Invest in the market capital drives growth. Pay for your parent's medical insurance health care. Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean or else.

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( 'vote buy' ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG liquidate it. Sell off its parts.

Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can 'never work.'

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

And remember, the plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

A very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

I am a Christian

Christians by Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ

that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin''

I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain,

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Thanks, Sabrina for sending this to me!

Baby Gracie Jean

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/graciejeanlockyer Dear Ones: thanks so much for the continuing prayers and words of comfort and support and most of all the prayers. Many have been enquiring about the arrangement for our little Gracies memorial service. The calling hours will be held at the J.C. Green Funeral Home on S.R. 109 just inside Davidson county in Winston-Salem N.C. Directions: On I 40 in Winston-Salem as you go East toward Kernersville take the 109 Thomasville Rd Exit. This exit is the 1st one past the 52 north and south interchange going East. Follow the exit through the first red light and continue until it dead ends onto St. Rt. 109. Turn right and go 4 miles. Funeral home is on the right just past the Gumtree Rd /Wendys light. The Funeral service will be at the Vernon Forest Baptist Church at 2:00 P.M. Saturday. Calling hours will be at the JC Green Funeral Home in Wallburg on Friday from 6-9 p.m. This home is very near the church. Directions to the Church are the same as to the funeral home except you turn right at the Wendy's onto Gumtree Rd and take the next Rd to the right, Mt. Vernon Church Rd. Church is on the right just after turning onto Mount Vernon Church Rd. Thank you- Grandpa Brown for Todd and Amanda and Haddon

Princess Megan

This story and little girl are particularly close to my heart. When I was a kid, my parents ran around with John & Teresa. (Dad & John have been friends since school.) They have three daughters: Tanya, Rachel & Leanne. They have divorced now and John has remarried but my parents are still very close with him.

Princess Megan is Rachel's daughter.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/princessmegan

Please, pray for this family. They have so many questions and seem to get the answers SO slowly. God is and always will be in control!!!!

baby GRACIE JEAN

For the full story, go to:

http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewJournal.do?method=executeInit TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2008 08:09 PM: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ENCOURAGING NOTES TO US! PLEASE PRAY HARD ABOUT A TENTATIVE MEETING TOMORROW AT 12:30 p.m. TOMORROW WITH MANY DOCTORS!! THE MAIN TOPIC OF THE MEETING IS TO NAIL DOWN A COMMITMENT THAT IF GOD KEEPS GRACIE HERE UNTIL THE SHUNT IN HER HEART BEGINS TO FAIL, THAT THE DOCTORS WILL GIVE HER THE NEXT OPTION OF SURGERY. THIS IS AN OPTION THAT IS AVAILABLE….EVEN THOUGH IT IS HIGH RISK AND TODD AND I UNDERSTAND THAT SHE MAY NOT SURVIVE THE SURGERY. Here is our reasoning….Imagine that your loved one is in a severe car accident and is rushed to the emergency room. The doctor comes out and says, “(Your name), your loved one is very critical and is dying. We must do an emergency surgery. The chances of your loved one coming through surgery are very low. But, if you choose to not do the surgery, it is only a matter of time.” So, there we are. If we do nothing, Gracie will die at some point. If she has a very risky operation when her shunt begins to fail, there is hope. God is able to take over here and can bring her through this surgery if it is His will. It is also His right to take her home with Him before she has to go through another operation. Todd and I understand that it is in His hands. But, we are in the ER--saying--do everything you can do. The doctors have said there is more they can do; it is just very risky! They are saying that maybe we shouldn’t put her through this. Well, if Gracie dies fighting….it will be no difference from how she’s lived every moment of her life. But we’re going to try every means possible! Also, let me make this clear to all. Gracie is rather stable at this point. SHE HAS LIVED 19 DAYS WITHOUT A VENTILATOR AND SHE IS ON LITTLE HEART MEDICATION. SHE IS ON NO OTHER LIFE SUSTAINING MEDS OR EQUIPMENT AT THIS TIME. SO, IF I WERE TO GO RIGHT NOW AND TAKE HER OFF THE VENT MYSELF…SHE WOULD LIVE FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG! IT WOULD NOT BE A FAST PASSING AWAY MOMENT IN MINUTES--MORE A SLOW AND SUFFERING APPROACH AS HER BODY WEAKENS OVER A FEW WEEKS. THAT IS WHY WE ARE SO ADAMANT ABOUT THIS. Of course, that’s how Gracie looks today. She is breathing a fast and her gases have looked worse than better today. We are praying that she starts looking better and not worse. So please pray about this also. We know you will and we love all you for loving and praying for Little Gracie. Todd and Amanda MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2008 09:08 PM: I AM LEAVING THIS UPDATE UP FOR AROUND 48 HOURS. IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO READS GRACIE’S PAGE NOW AND THEN, PLEASE ASK THEM TO READ THIS UPDATE AND PRAY!! URGENT REQUEST FOR PRAYER: My brothers and sisters in the Lord Jesus, Todd and I are calling out to you tonight to bind together with us in prayer for God’s deliverance, guidance and power. Gracie looks beautiful and strong today. She has breathed the calmest she has in days, even though she continued to run a fever on and off. But she looks like a fighter and she has been in mommy’s arms all afternoon. But, there are some very influential people at this hospital who have NO FAITH. They do not believe in God. They only look at scientific evidence. THEY BELIEVE THAT GRACIE IS DYING AND THAT TODD AND I ARE TRYING TO “MAINTAIN” HER LIFE LONGER THAN WE SHOULD. HOW DO WE KNOW THIS? Because TODAY they sent a representative for Ethics/Humanity in to speak with us. He told us that some doctors and nurses and others are of the opinion that Gracie is dying and we are prolonging the inevitable. I’VE SEEN WHAT GRACIE LOOKS LIKE WHEN SHE IS DYING….SHE DID NOT LOOK LIKE THAT TODAY! So, we feel this is a BATTLE FOR LIFE!!!! OVER THE NEXT 48 HOURS, MUCH DISCUSSION IS GOING TO BE MADE ABOUT GRACIE AMONG DOCTORS. THE GOAL IS TO COME UP WITH A PLAN FOR HER CARE. TODD AND I HAVE MADE IT VERY VERY CLEAR THAT WE WANT GRACIE TO HAVE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE…AND AS LONG AS SHE IS ALIVE…WE WANT TO MOVE FORWARD. WE DO NOT DESIRE TO BE SENT HOME WITH PALLIATIVE CARE. SHE HAS FOUGHT TOO LONG AND TOO HARD TO GIVE UP NOW. Because Gracie’s shunt in her heart is “wearing out”, she is going to need another operation or procedure before we are able to get home with her. We want every attempt made for her and we KNOW THAT GOD CAN BRING HER THROUGH IF IT IS HIS WILL. We want her to get her next surgery no matter what. I couldn't begin to start explaining all that has been said today during our “ethics” meeting about Gracie and her future, but we have to pray that God turns hearts and minds towards what He desires--away from what they are thinking!!!! I do not believe He (GOD) would bring Gracie this far for us to lose faith and give up or withdraw support! So, PLEASE PRAY ABOUT THIS WEEK. IF THE LORD TARRIES, WE HAVE A BATTLE ON OUR HANDS TO FIGHT. WE MUST PRAY THAT EVEN NON-BELIEVERS GIVE FAITH A CHANCE AND GIVE GRACIE A CHANCE. GOD WILL TAKE HER HOME WHEN IT IS HER TIME. WE BELIEVE LIFE AND DEATH ARE IN HIS HANDS. THAT’S WHY WE WILL FIGHT UNTIL HE DOES NOT FIGHT ANY MORE. I have been very concerned about how to word this update. The most important factors of our life and this situation are the lost souls who need to meet our Jesus and accept Him into their life. There are many lost people at this hospital and we are trying to reflect the love of God through our actions and words to all we meet. But, this is a very difficult day and we feel that each and every person involved in her care needs to make the commitment to us that they will fight for Gracie until the end. The discussion we had today has challenged Todd and I about life and the sanctity of it. There are many people who feel that life is not worth living unless the quality of life is one of comfort and peace. That out rules Down Syndrome children, handicapped children, sick children and many more. If we believe that God created each and every living soul for a reason…then we believe that God created Gracie just the way she is. He has allowed her to continue in intensive care for almost 7 months by His power. He could have taken her home many times. He still could. But, IT IS UP TO HIM ALONE. HOW DARE WE STEP IN AND SAY IT IS TOO LONG? The problem is that Gracie looks beautiful today. A few days ago, when she went into renal failure and was puffy and her pressures were low…I could accept that she was dying. But, right now, she is fighting alive and God is not finished with her. She is warm and pink and looks like the picture where she is smiling. Please pray with us that God ALONE will decide when Gracie’s appointed time is. We know that no one else can change that. Still, we are asking Him to do a miraculous work in her life so that the doubters and the scoffers will know that He runs that hospital and life and death are in His hands. True ethics is the Bible. Humanism is a man’s attempt to prove they are good--when the truth is that without God--we are nothing. FOR NONE OF US LIVETH TO HIMSELF, AND NO MAN DIETH TO HIMSELF. FOR WHETHER WE LIVE--WE LIVE UNTO THE LORD; AND WHETHER WE DIE--WE DIE UNTO THE LORD: WHETHER WE LIVE THEREFORE, OR DIE, WE ARE THE LORD’S. FOR TO THIS END CHRIST BOTH DIED AND ROSE, AND REVIVED, THAT HE MIGHT BE LORD BOTH OF THE DEAD AND THE LIVING. (Romans 14: 7-9) WHAT AN INCREDIBLE TESTAMENT OF GOD'S LOVE AND THE FAITH OF THESE PARENTS!

Abbie's Bible

A couple of weeks ago, Abbie was able to recite all 66 Books of the Bible. This past Sunday, September 14, 2008, she received her Bible, from our church, handed to her by Rich Book. It is kind-of a reward for the kids' efforts and even comes with their name on the front. For many of them, including Abbie, it is their first "big" Bible. We are so very proud of her. I want to thank all the women that have taught her class and helped her learn her books.....with all those silly songs, activities & projects. They are GREAT! And we couldn't have done it without you.

how "Daddies" should be....

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?' The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'Yes'.

For those who didn't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together.

~Get your tissues out and prepare to cleanse your soul with tears!~

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513

Today

Today is like alot of other days for alot of other people in the world. We go to work or to school, pay our bills, complain about the weather, worry about current events, fix meals, work on cars, walk dogs, wait for a school bus, go to practices, find lost socks, find lost dirty clothes in a teenager's room, play online, listen to the radio, fight with accounts departments, plan for what is to come in the evening and even the next morning. A day of nothing much certainly is full, all of a sudden.

Today, I sent Eric to work, even though today should be his day off. He was scheduled an extra 8 hour shift....I am sad he's gone but happy it's not a 12 hour shift, which is normally what he works.

Today, I put Nick on the bus. He will have school and not get home until 3pm and then have football practice at 5:30 to about 7:30 - 8pm. Shower, eat, brush teeth and bed by 9:30pm at the latest.

Today, I put Abbie on the bus. She will have school until 4pm. She has library today and that is always a big deal...she loves books and the idea of reading. She will then get to run around with me taking to Nick to and from his activities. Bath, eat, brush teeth and bed by 9pm at the latest.

Today, is no different that any other day EXCEPT today is my Grandpa Shumway's 90th birthday. I don't think that he cares....I don't believe that Heaven keeps track of birthdays. But it brings back the grief of losing him all over again. It's a little bit different 5 months later but the family still doesn't feel right, probably never will.

I don't know whether to make a big deal out of Grandpa's birthday or not. I remember, so I'm sure so does everyone else.....but do you bring it up, out loud, or just let it lie and the day pass for fear of stirring up painful emotions again?

Matthew 5: 3-5 (NIV) Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

I just LOVE these verses, they speak right to me and to my heart:

Matthew 5: 14 -16 (NIV) You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

That sounds like MY Grandpa!!!